The furry creatures we’d love to fuck
For me, the big event in basketball games that I still get excited for is: halftime. Halftime gives us that glorious moment to watch and be entertained by the mascot, and boy does he ever come through!
Mascots are big furry plush toys, with the added devilish detail of making moves like a man. What woman can resist a big cuddly man who can’t speak? That means he can never say the wrong thing, ruin an evening by his egotistical behaviour, or accidentally insult your friends. No, this mute lovable creature oozes charm and wit answering questions with cute pantomimes. And pantomimes are great for communication. He doesn’t play around and says what’s on his mind.
They are also athletes, warming up the crowd by stunning us with crazy stunt jumps, leaps, and shooting hoops like a mo’ fo’.
That being said, it’s no wonder so many girls have found themselves drooling during halftime, wishing it could last a little longer. I’ve been up and close with b-ball mascot Benny the Bull once when they called down to participate in contest to win a prize. It was so surreal being there, standing beside this fictitious character, I realized that this attraction was real.
It wasn’t Benny the Bulls’ personality or charms that particularly impressed me. I mostly amazed at how big he is. I remember thinking what it would be like to get monster fucked by the mascot, and that’s when I had my breakthrough: Mascots should be pornstars!
They come in different fur colours and uniforms, but they are all big and powerful, with big and powerful equipment. If I had my way, the following five b-ball mascots would be hot pornstars:
1. Boomer makes me want to scream louder. The 6 feet tall cool blue mascot is energetic and full of tricks. He wins my applause in his sporty little get-up, even though he’s waving that cheerleader’s pom-pom. I’m not jealous because I know those cheerleading sluts need help doing even the simplest of things… But, what I wouldn’t give to have his hand in my pompom!
Here’s my boy boomer the panty remover
2. Bango is proof that there is a God. Who else could have thought up this hot fury buck? With a name like Bango, you know he knows his way around the bedroom. Do you see him here in the picture below just devastatingly skilled with his legs in the air ready to attack the basket? In the perfect porno, I would be on top of that basket with my legs wide open, waiting for the dunk.
Bingo Bango, you can turn me on five times in a row
3. Burnie’s got a hell of a name, but he is so all over my fantasies! I don’t know if you all have ever heard about Bernie’s cross-dressing fun, but if you haven’t checked it out yet, now is the time! Bernie is one hell of a dancer – and you know if a monster can dance, he’s a great fuck. I’d love to see old Bernie here in a porno doing the Michael Jackson neck move while he goes down town.
Sizzlin’ Burnie is worthy of a piece of my cocoa pie
4. Hooper, Hooper, damn that’s one fine black stallion. This big horse is probably hung like one too. He has his boyish ways about him, gliding along on his skateboard and doing flips from different heights, but as long as he saves a little horsepower for boning, that’s fine by me. Hooper is tireless and never out of breath. With that kind of stamina we could spend all day and night in his stable rolling in the hay.
If I had to bet on a horse, I’d pick Hooper to take the prize
5. Rocky the Mountain Lion is a big badass cat. I don’t know if my attraction to lions stems from watching the lion king one too many times, but all I know is that I cannot wait to be pinned down by a cat that’s bigger and stronger than I. I just want to grab those caramel ears and feel his cool nose pressed against my stomach. I know that this ferocious lion could tear me apart with his bare hands and I submit. This wild cat would be perfect for a porno with a rumble in the jungle.
This is Rocky with the tasty toffee cocky
Let’s face it, the porn industry could use a monster or two. As far as I’m concerned these b-ball mascots are the most deadly creatures that could happen to porno. They’re huge, athletic and super sexy. I know I’m not alone, and I can’t wait until there’s X-rated videos available so that we can get up close and personal with them at home!